Thank God for my advisor because when one’s awakening begins everyone seems so very far away, and it can seem lonely, until the inner advisor shows up with news that you’re okay; like an air traffic controller guiding a pilot through miles of rain clouds. A voice that directs without explanation, with wisdom that i could not see, guiding me home. my advisor showed up in early March and told me “I AM…your advisor” and then after a few weeks directed me to read the book “I AM THAT.”
i’m not very good at taking orders but when your lost, you talk to strangers, and so i did. Immediately after starting to read my assignment i began to feel a little more comfortable like i had an inner place to reside, like nesting into a small safe and cosy corner, to take a breather and look around at the new surroundings.
While my awakening mentors were telling me that it was beyond my control and although i felt that this was true i still believed in some uncanny way that i had a small role to play in this unfolding process. i ended up trusting my advisor. Good decision!
i learned the I AM inquiry as taught by Nisargadatta Maharaj. This turned out to be a very intuitive practice of asking a question that i couldn’t answer, a question however that would allow my awareness to open up to the experience of my true self, “separate” of my mind, it’s thoughts and projections of the world around me.
After some time, “the energy” did respond to this practice and then i knew why you always listen to the advisor. What i didn’t expect to happen was that my “seeker,” that part of my spiritual personally who is always looking for another teacher, or another technique, or another way of thinking was becoming a ghost while disentangling itself from my mind and being.
What i have discovered, so far, is that as my “seeker” fades away, a confidence grows inside me. This is not hubris but a trust in my advisor and myself, with no reliance of any outside influence to lead me to my goal of waking up to my true self.
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