grateful for this lighter experience

i remember waking up one morning (in the Bronx) when i was about fifteen.  We were going fishing, my father, grandfather and i.  i jumped out of bed around 5:30am feeling so rested that i felt as if i could reel in every flounder in the Long Island Sound.   Those days are over.. long gone, but this morning after being awakened by my cat Xochi i was feeling quite energetic.  i noticed the difference immediately and was grateful for this lighter experience for so many reasons.

Keeping this body moving in that old heavy energy took a lot of effort and mental attention.  It was a clearing-out energy that was working on my body.  This new energy feels bubbly and alive like it’s job is to wake me up. YES 🙂  Again, i am just guessing, my advisor never explains, so i’m just having fun with it.  When the tingling sensations move about my head i feel alive, renewed, invigorated, and itchy.

Something else i’ve noticed is that the old energy in the center of my head has changed and become a background for all my experience. Instead of being heavy it has reduced to a faint experience of awareness.  Like a  space inside my head that’s filled with helium and wants to lift me off the ground- almost.  It’s hard to describe.  It was a long 2 1/2 months waiting for the heaviness to lift.  i’m so grateful.  No matter what comes next.

Next Saturday i have to fly down to Florida to help my mom and its going to be so much easier to handle the family drama with this lightness.  i will definitely be able to get much more done while in the fray.

My confidence in the process continues to grow to new heights and with it i have to keep myself tight-on-the-reins as i am constantly managing my old yearnings to make a dash for the “fully awakened ” finish line.

edo

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