only loving is left

Up until a few months ago my daily practice has been to wake up every morning and ask myself  “what can i do today to further along my awakening?  My desire to “do” something seemed logical but not quite in alignment with my heart.  Some still small piece of my monkey mind kept trying to divert my attention back to doing and then the answer came to me like a whispering voice in my head “there is nothing more to do… only loving is left.” Continue Reading →

a drop of rain returning to an ocean of divine love.

Inside the mind of this body are some beautiful thoughts trying to escape out onto this page. They are struggling desperately.  They want to describe a beautiful experience that i had a few days ago but can’t find the words or mental processes to enable a transmission.  It’s as if i lost all of my writing mojo.  i don’t feel at loss since my desire to put words to my experiences now seem inept and corruptive.  What happened you might ask?  All that i can say is that the bliss has developed into a pervasive peace which seemingly on its own accord has released me like a drop of rain returning to the ocean of divine love.  Continue Reading →

i thought…nothing is happening

It has been some time since my last post.  The answer to that is very simple and i laugh so hard as the words roll off my lips, i thought… that nothing was happening.  The powerful waves of bliss and energy subsided months ago and except for a subtle sense of deep peace, that has become indistinguishable from myself, i have settled back from differentiating any experience as “normal” or “awakening.”   Continue Reading →

milestone where the rubber meets the road

For the last few months i have had this sense that some substantial shift within me has occurred.  Sniffing the scent in the air like an approaching season, i sense deep within my being that a milestone where the rubber meets the road has already occurred and it is chasing after me like a parent trying to catch a screaming child that refuses to go to bed.   Continue Reading →

it really is a mindbody awakening

Her voice, so smooth and gentle, suggesting that i find my own point where I could manage the stretch with relaxation, inviting my body to extend beyond it comforts and remain in a pose for what felt like a lifetime.  It dawned on me later that this was a complement to my inquiry work.  With my soles touching, knees bent, my arched backed push my heart open and out.  I surrendered into the muscles, sinews and pulled facia when out of nowhere an energy began to stir deep within my pelvis and i was startled to realize how my mindbody coordination had just taken a quantum leap rocketing out the atmosphere of my reason.   Continue Reading →

drops in the ocean

For the last few months time has passed like drops in the ocean each offering a new promise and new direction only to be fulfilled before becoming the ocean and losing it individual significance.  In this way since my last post i have been in a cycle of expansion followed by a restart back to my beginnings demonstrating once again that life and the absolute are unequivocality the same.  No matter where the absolute-bliss takes me i always return back to myself, my body, my ocean.   Continue Reading →

drunk with bliss

Like the ocean there seems to be a cosmic tide inside of me, flowing in waves, back and forth, vibrating everywhere, complete in every way.  It has been this ways for days now, drunk with bliss, my ability to be present seems to be dependent on the importance that each activity has to the overall well being of what i need the most: take care of my body, love Rita, and make some money.   Continue Reading →

windy past and the swing of life

A howling surrounds me like a pack of wolves announcing a fresh kill. The house rumbles like a freight train as the windows and foundation creaked and moaned as if being pushed and pulled to its limits.  i awoke with a fearful startle and an unexplained sense of dread.  Rubbing the sleep from my eyes i adjust to my surrounding with one solitary question in my mind “what now?”   Continue Reading →

here take control of the wheel, please

One foot lunges after the other on the impartial treadmill, like my journey back to True Self.  The irony is that a treadmill takes you nowhere yet you feel like you have been somewhere.  Like when you wake up for the first time and realize that the real you was always there.  While giving the Boulder Rec Center a run for its money i discovered that i’ve been replaced, permanently, from the driver’s side of my efforts; as i call out to the universe – here take control of the wheel, please.   Continue Reading →

this divine yearning, a divine love

Wherever i go, whatever i do, it reaches endlessly, accompanying all the thoughts in my mind; always right there.  This divine yearning, a divine love that permeates my entire being; overflowing into every thought and action.  It has been showing up slowly, on and off, and then on New Years Eve like a thrown switch it became my second nature.

Continue Reading →