waking up from my understanding

i have been walking around for the last month or so in a daze. Usually it’s due to a strong influence of “self” trying to acclimate to a strange world, but not this time. i’m actually functioning very well these days. Yet something is off, i’ve had no desire to post, i can’t feel the energy in my head, its as if i woke up from one reality to a completely different one. It’s as if something shifted but it wasn’t an experience; rather it is more like waking up from my understanding of what awakening really is.

It’s easier said then done when it comes to not identifying with a beautiful experience of bliss or heavenly sensations, and while i don’t feel that i have to give up any of these experiences it is another matter when it comes to identifying with them.

Identification with those divine experiences makes it that much harder to  move on to the next phase of the journey.  The only one conducting this symphony is me and there is no score or beat that i have to follow, no right or wrong.

Stay attached or move on it’s all up to me.  There’s no heavenly organization looking down on me and judging any of my decisions.  It’s just me and reality.  When I say left reality says okay or maybe right thats okay too.

So this blasé that i’m experiencing seems to be the effect of a letting go of my last understanding of where i’m headed without having something else to grab onto.  Strange as it sounds instead of fear i feel indifference as i fly through the air like a trapeze performer not able to see who’s on the swing to catch me, yet trusting that all is perfect.

Grazie Dio
edo

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