awakening through integration and memory

Last post i mention how my memory wanted me to think i would be tired after a night of dreaming with the witness.   Sometime early this morning i was trying to remember some of my earlier experiences in late February only to find that they were scattered and unclear.  How could that be?  Something so earth moving, beyond my wildest expectation, reduced to a foggy memory. It didn’t seem fair until i thought it through and realized that integration occurs as we let go of memory’s tyrannical hold on past experiences.

Most of my suffering in the past was the result of my memory recreating a suffering experience.  i would be reminded of a painful moment and then WHAM i was in it.  i began to wonder what would happen if i began to forget the particular memory.  I asked what would the mind do then?  Well it would continue to do what it does best and create “another memory” based on what “actually” just happened not what happen in the past.   As my memory continues to let go, i get the opportunity to transform my experience of whatever used to be hurtful to something that just happen, not good or bad nor right or wrong.

The effortless nature of “true self” has that affect on memory.  There is nothing to do or manipulate.  When one’s awareness experiences the timeless unbounded nature of itself, the hold that our memory has over the mind just weakens or evaporates.  It’s a easy choice to let it go.   It’s not hard or easy, it just “is.”

“Hey that’s integration!!!

And guess what, integration sort of works the same way on the other end of the spectrum; when i am integrating oneness into the relative world of activity.

When i posted about how baking at The Lodge was no big deal i was coming from a place of expanded awareness.   Well after a few days when the expanded awareness was integrated into my mind i revisited the idea and it sounded great.  i had no memory of why i didn’t want to bake but now i know i want to bake but if it didn’t happened no big deal.

Okay, i need to come clean here, because experiencing your true self has some temporary memory side-affects,  and i wouldn’t be completely honest with you if I didn’t put it on the label.  You will be forgetful or as I like to call it spacey; for awhile until you re-write your operational manual.

Rita will attest to his, i forget a lot of things.  Every coin has two sides, yet
i am told by friends who have been through this, that it is temporary and manageable.  i’ll keep you posted on this one for sure meanwhile i tried telling that to Rita, a lot of good it did me. lol.


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