Up until a few months ago my daily practice has been to wake up every morning and ask myself “what can i do today to further along my awakening? My desire to “do” something seemed logical but not quite in alignment with my heart. Some still small piece of my monkey mind kept trying to divert my attention back to doing and then the answer came to me like a whispering voice in my head “there is nothing more to do… only loving is left.”
It wasn’t easy to relinquish the need to teach better, be more eloquent, or exhibit more personal power. With the help of my new teacher i was able to see that my developed personal will was actually my new nemesis. This powerful will which once had kept my vigil on inviting grace into my life had now become a barrier to allowing my true nature to blossom unconditionally. i discovered that as long as i identified with my “will” to be anything but love, i remain stuck, as if i was camping out from being the full expression of my true nature.
Last October in Teo, this all descended on me, and all i could do was hold a loving space for the group. It was a beautiful experience that planted the seeds for what happened in Teo last week; the full expression of unconditional love with every being that crosses my path, with everyone that would looked into my eyes.
In every place of Teo’s magical presence there i was open and in love with every stone and every creature. In the Women’s Place, Tetitla, the Portal and the Pyramid of the Sun, i was there, one with it all, yet instead of personal-power emanating through me, it was love’s expression that has evolved within me. It could still be perceived as a “teaching” from someone else’s point of view but for me it was the expression of my true being, my true identity.
I returned home a few days ago, and as of yet, the deep peaceful bliss of unconditional love, has not faded. It is taking all of my awareness to try to integrate back into the world of things and doing. The world i left days ago for Teo’s call, begs me to engage, but as of this writing, i’m unable.
Another extension of love, another deepening, and a never-ending cycle of integrations.
Blessings & Love,
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