please don’t leave me

It has been four days now and the energy just keeps getting stronger.My guys (the ego/seeker) are taking me on a wild ride from WOW it’s finally happening to OMG what if you lose it! 

With everyday I gain a little more confidence that the bliss won’t go away but I’m still prey to the fear that it will.   The difference seems to be that the fear is there but I’m not at affect of it, or attached to it. This is another contradiction to the way I see or used to see myself.  It’s still so new but this quiet intuitive knowing, this voice that shows up is becoming a new trusted wise companion and I am opening to it as best as I can.

So my job recruiter calls me with an interview last night and explains that it’s a working interview meaning I go in to work and if they like me I’ll be invited back the following day.  OMG can I do this?  I have serious doubts but my new mantra these days is surrender, so I say okay.  I’m functional but so spacey…why not it’s time to test the waters, take the leap, shit or get off the pot, No?

Once I’m at the interview I watch the energy take the back seat and while I’m expecting to do accounting work, I end of doing clerical work while they get me a workstation. Here I am filing and sorting and WOW I can do it.  I feel the energy but it’s no encumbrance.  This was such a great experience to see that there seems to be an intelligence behind all this that allows me to take care of business.

Long story short, I didn’t get the job, but it was perfect as I realized it wasn’t the right work for my skills…but I learned so much.

I learned that when awakening happens you the person doesn’t change. What changes is your identification with the relative you.   It was slowly dawning on me that the image of awakened “Holiness” is pure crap.

Tomorrow is another new day…you’re invited

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