My first week, 7 days have past, and the energy is still going stronger than ever. What I am observing now is that my mind is trying to turn this experience of bliss and energy into a casual “Oh Hum” “been there done that” experience. It didn’t work maybe because the experience is still quite new but I suspect I haven’t seen the last of that. My guys are becoming very resourceful
My thoughts were not always positive but it became easier to just move through them and every time I did my mind would make up a story that I lost it and then the energy would show up again. What I discovered shortly after that was my identification with the energy and the bliss is still identification that prevents me from experiencing my true self; the pure being which is the source of all perception.
It seems logical not to identify with negativity, dissidence and suffering but Bliss, oh man, this would have to be undone as well. This threw me into more unknown and confusion and it was beyond my sensibilities to manage so I needed to find help.
It never ceases to amaze me how the universe shows up with exactly what I need at the very moment when I thought there was no sign or answer for my dilemma. I was walking around the house asking for help, asking for someone who had been there before to point a finger in the direction that I was heading.
Exactly at that time Rita suggests that I read Adyashanti. It was a God-send as I consumed all his books in a matter of days. I was comforted by his clear and concise explanations of the stages of awakening, it was as if he could read my mind.
Then my close friend David told me about the website Buddha at the Gas Pump. A site devoted to interviewing spiritually awakened people. Listening to the awakening process of others also helped me a great deal.
After the overwhelming experiences of these first few days, a deep penetrating gratitude has come over me. I have this incredible thankfulness for the Grace that has gifted me with this awakening. I call it Grace because I can’t explain it.
I’m surprised because my experiences prior to the 15th lead me to believe that I had much more to learn, heal, and experience in order to receive such a gift.
How little did I know…
It has turned my “spiritual logic” inside out and upside down.
More Later
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