In the past 2 months I have only shared this new POV with a handful of friends.   I’m still a little skeptical about sharing my experiences as I’ve just begun to find the words to describe what I think is going on, no less answer questions.

My close LA circle would ask “how is it going?” and I would take a long time wondering what I should share. Should I discuss the energy in my head, or the information coming in from this new sixth sense, or should I describe how my body is being boiled in the cosmic soup of life.  Any one of these subjects was a mouthful.

The other day Doug inquired about my experiences and as I was going through my checklist to formulate an answer, we were interpreted by some neighbors stopping by.  I was a bit relieved and frustrated. I was relieved because I could return to the silence and get out of the spotlight yet I was frustrated because I wanted to see if I could put it all into words. By the time the neighbors left the subject had shifted so I sneaked away into the peace of emptiness.

With each passing day the energy seems to wear down my perspective of myself in the world and I seem to be more and more spacey.   Another time Rita and I were with our dear friends Vic and Doug and Vic asked me how Tuesday went.  She was referring to an interview I had and I just looked at her and said “Tuesday? I can’t remember Tuesday.” Rita said something, I didn’t hear it clearly, but I noticed everyone’s response, ear-to-ear grins.   I didn’t mind, but I couldn’t relate and felt like I was in a glass bubble, bubble-boy Ed Fox.

Speaking of job interviews, as I continue to send out resumes I wonder if I can really hold it together in an office setting? Most of the time engagement sharpens my senses, and sometimes I just catch a few words in every sentence.

I’m surrendered enough not to care, but keep moving forward the best I can because we need the income.

edo

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