This morning felt like the first capstone on my ongoing journey into awakening. I needed to drive to parts unknown in Burbank to pick up a laptop. I had never rented a computer before and found myself in a new situation having to negotiate the transaction to make sure that I got the right pc and a good price. I usually turn into a Type A personality in those kinds of situations but this time it all went so smoothly.
Back in the car, I realized just how effortless is went down. It was missing a certain over the top strain and energetic push to get it done right. I realized that what was missing in the past was a certain level of “inner confidence.” My life is getting easier and easier.
About ten years ago I noticed that I had lost my internal GPS. I’m no longer embarrassed to admit that I was getting lost a lot (in the car) and couldn’t explain why. Thank God the iPhone came along when it did with a GPS and then Siri saved my ass countless times. So while I’m giving Siri directions to get home the map appeared in my brain, as clear as day. OMG I was so awestruck, it reminded me of the first Matrix movie when Neo wakes up and is being trained. He opens his eyes up in the chair after a major download and screams, “I know Kung Fu!”
But it didn’t stop there, almost home; on the 405 freeway I felt the presence of my father (who had past away a few years ago.) A picture appeared in my mind of my dad holding me in his arms, I couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5, we were at the beach and I could feel his strong muscular arms around me, holding me tight. I remembered feeling so safe and loved, I broke down and cried for some time and it felt so good. There is a place in my memory banks where I had forgotten the password from an early age on and now I’m astonished to realize that this is my earliest childhood memory todate.
Once I got home and rested I heard my inner voice speak. It came to me in a flash and I was humbled by the gratitude the issued forth from the deepest levels of my pleading heart as I see the wisdom behind my “chickpea” experiences.
The undoing of Ed Fox does have a purpose! Today I experienced a glimpse of a new Ed and I understood immediately and undeniably that my need to know is being “cooked” into richness and that I have nothing to do but just join with it and continue to surrender.
It’s out of my hands.
Edo
If you enjoyed this post and would like to receive new post alerts complete the form below. I will NEVER share your information.