There’s a saying that goes “If you want to really know about someone, ask their spouse.” While that may be more true than funny i have my own version. “If you want to see how together someone is watch him interact with his mother.”
The call from my sister sounded urgent and before i knew it i was flying down to Boca Raton to assist her in helping sort out some problems for my 96-year-old mom. i would be there for mother’s day so it just seemed very auspicious.
Deep down in the nearly conscious level of thought was a curiosity about what might happen when my new-born awakening consciousness gets to interact with the first architect of my identity as ed fox.
Once again, i was surprisingly reminded that no matter what my mind expected, it could only be in it’s own realm of thinking which has no bearing or effect on the absolute nature of being and the true self. Here i was expecting a big face off between the “mother of my domestication” and my “True Self.”
After the first day, as usual, communication between my mother and sister began to break down. Arguing ensued and tempers flared while i sat quietly un-moved observing the scene like a TV drama.
On the plane down to Florida i read something that Nisargadatta Maharaj said. “the truth is that you are not in the vastness of your world or universe, rather it is inside of you.” In this case the you he was speaking of is pure being; the infinite expansiveness of the witness. Hearing these words created an indescribable rumbling inside of me.
Since reading that passage every time i think of it i feel the tingling sensations in my head increase. Along with that i look out at the world and sense, on a level that i can’t describe, that it could all end at any moment; that the image-illusion of the world could and will disappear leaving me with the absolute truth.
i can’t wait…
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