out of my cocoon

Over a year ago, after i completed my last class i decided to take a break from speaking and sharing as i felt that my newborn awakening, at the time, prevented me by default from leading others.  my enthusiam for sharing was crushed by the weight of what i didn’t know; i tried for as long as my excitement could hold me but as the depth of my new reality was fathomed i needed to back away and reassess.  my blog was my rudder as i meandered through my early experiences in awakening until just recently when feeling completely re-assembled, like a butterfly, I was ready to come out of my cocoon… back on purpose. 

For most of my life i never knew what really happens to a caterpillar once encased in its own cocoon.  It is a fitting description of what it was like during those first 12 months after my second awakening experience in Los Angeles.  my identify completely dissolved, like the caterpillar, into a undifferentiated ooze of my essence, only to reform into a new iteration of a human being.  i emerged out of the cocoon looking like ed but the old ed was no longer there.

i went straight to my website and began to create, i was encouraged and inspired by the deeper levels of compassion that were running through my emotions and nervous system.  I was responding to my surroundings differently as if every interaction with others and circumstances were alive in a way i had never known.  i desired, once again, to be of service to everyone, anywhere and finally i lost my aversion to seeing myself in the new videos that i am producing for the mindbody awakening website.

As i write these words i recognize how in the past i created with a desire that was ever so tainted or poisoned with doubt and fear and as i search into my being right now i notice the difference; where once there was doubt and fear now there is a sense of unknown, wonder, and potentiality. Much better…yes

While i still have to learn how to reach out (market) myself i have a deep knowing and trust that everything will go perfectly. I am open to all help and wisdom.

i would like to take this opportunity to speak to you, my reader, and thank you all for all your support, feedback, and love.  Whenever i post to this blog i realize in the back of my mind, as i give form to my experiences,  that you are there and it brings me joy to know that you are with me, in some small way, on my journey home.

Grazie Tutti

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