During the last few days i have been experiencing a wide range of physical energy levels accompanied by expansive energy movements in my head. In a matter of minutes i can go from a highly alert and productive energetic state to an exhausted state and then on to a blissed-out-spacey presence. At first i thought my body’s energy was being regulated by rest and food but now i’m convinced by my expereinces that the sensations in my body are being orchestrated by the intelligence of reality.
The last 14 days have been busy… no brutal, to my body. Moving into a condo that needs such upgrading has kept Rita and i in a combo of unpacking, resting, eating and shopping to bring that “home” feeling into our new residence. With many cycles of eating and napping throughout the day we seem to be making progress but the energy that rolls around inside my skull has played with my ability to maintain a constant level of physical energy and alertness.
The other day i woke up refreshed and ready to start another day. i had a good breakfast and then we started our routine chores of unpacking and shopping. Around noon we decided to refuel, even though we didn’t feel very hungry. My energy level was high until we walked into Lucky’s Market for a sandwich before food shopping.
By the time i walked over to the counter i became exhausted, extreme fatigue, and i sat down at a table to rest. i really fought to keep my eyes open and couldn’t imagined how i could lose so much energy in so short a time.
To my surprise, once again, in a matter of minutes i began to feel the energy moving in my head, slowly, like warm soothing molasses, and then i felt extreme bliss which began to overshadowed my fatigue. Rita came with some food and i ate without saying a word.
Afterwards, i tried to help with the shopping but i was useless. Not due to fatigue but to the blissful out-of-sorts consciouness that prevents me from thinking straight and concentrating in the moment.
Rita sent me to the car, and there i remained until she finished shopping. Sitting there i closed my eyes and felt the waves of energy roll around in my head radiating in strength. With every peak of energy i felt more bliss and with ever ebb of energy i felt fatigue.
In a moment i “knew”, without words, that knowing that comes with divine insight that my body is a projection of my true reality. Both important and integral to being a human being; but in terms of origin my true self which has always been and will never die can never be secondary to a body even when that reality decides to become a human.
Perhaps the fatigue is a result of my body’s integration of the my true nature and like a young child’s growing pains needs to be endured for full maturity. i love this metaphor of childhood and sometimes i like to think of myself as “teething” into enlightenment.
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