Yesterday we left Los Angeles on our first stage of our move to Boulder. Our cat, xochi, sat between Rita and i while we drove mile after mile from the city that was our home for over seven years. my mind kept telling me that my new home is in Boulder yet my inner knowing told me that my true home is right here, right now, and everywhere that i can imagine myself. This journey to Colorado is demonstrating that there is nothing to do – nowhere to go.
if i look back to February when, as Rita likes to put it, “lighting struck ed” i can see so clearly how i was convinced that there was something to “do” and “somewhere to go” to make the most of the grace that had descended upon me last February. While all my mentors urged me, at the time, to let go i can see now why i couldn’t; my true self hadn’t awakened enough to itself.
Choosing to put my attention on the perceiver of everything rather than the perception has allowed me to welcome more of my true nature into my mechanics of perception. When this happens i sense my true nature as who i am and i’m no longer attached or identified with the object of perception.
The perception of our true self is a vast perception of everything and everywhere. You sense and know and feel (though not through the body) that you are not in the world but that the world is… in you.
Driving east on I-10 at 75 mph watching the desert whirl by i sensed this presence of myself that simply whispered in my ear “I am your home. Not that which you see with your eyes.”
In that moment i lost the sense of loss of LA, i lost the identification with my new destination, i simply knew in that moment where my true home exists. i also knew that nothing could disturb that reality!
Now that’s not to say that i’m not excited to be in Boulder, to experience more quiet, to smell the changing of the seasons, and to enjoy the mountain life. It will be wonderful.
With the deepest gratitude and tears in my eyes
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