unpacking the awareness

Whenever i return from a trip, like this last one to Boulder, i like to unpack my suitcase immediately.  i’m not sure why maybe it helps me feel settled in or perhaps it represents the last remnant of the trip; releasing me to start something new.  Little did i realize that it would take me another day of unpacking the awareness that was downloaded from the car accident.  

i suspect that everyone has their own way of digesting or unpacking information.  For me i like to write, share my experience with my students, or talk with my dear friend David.  David and i have been friends-brothers for almost 50 years and have shared each others spiritual journey.  He has awakened and like my wife Rita understands completely what i am going through.

When i talk with David i feel like i am talking with myself and something very unique occurs within my being; i feel as if the awareness unpacks itself in either words and perceptions that are designed to help me understand the significance of my experiences.  i know that i can do my own unpacking but it is still so much fun to share, that i usually jump the gun and give him a call.

The other day i was sharing my car accident with David and while i was depicting the events and my insights (as i explained in the previous post) i sensed the most subtle experience of oneness.  Again the word “sense” fails to describe the mode of perception that allows me to recognize what i call “oneness.”  Even the word “oneness” fails to describe.

Thanks to the writings of Adyashanti and Nisargadatta Maharaj i feel that i have some vocabulary that comes closer to describing this indescribable perception.  When the True Self wakes up in the mind, it becomes aware of itself.  When that happens in a powerful way, the witness awakens and it is an experience of being totally separate from the body.

The “oneness” that i am trying to describe is more like Awareness waking up to itself, but rather than being the separate witness “looking down from behind the body” it seemed to be witnessing itself from inside my body.  It has a sweetness to it that is so pleasant and heartfelt; in contrast to the more detached “witness” experience.

Whew! that’s was a mouthful.


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