Still settling in from the move i had my first picnic at my granddaughter Mila’s school. A wonderful afternoon of toddlers, chicken and watermelon. Watching all the kids walking or wobbling around the park struck me with the sense of just how natural it is to grow into the awareness of my true self. Like learning to walk a toddler takes a step, falters and then falls; only to get up and try again. i felt connected with those little ones as i observed their instinctual and unlearned drive to get back up and try again.
i often wonder why adults feel that “developmentally” they are fully matured. What has been a more startling revelation to me was to expect that my spiritual “development” should be any different than learning to walk.
Somehow i had assumed, probably from what i interpreted from one or more of my teachers, that spiritual development is extraordinary and not natural or instinctive to everyone.
That being the case i have until recently thought that spiritual growth is earned over a period of time then instantly acquired and integrated. My own awakening has shown me that it is just the opposite. i fought this learning curve approach and doubted myself early on and this had retarded the confidence that naturally comes with contact with the true self.
What i have learned about “falling” or as i like to say orbiting around the dark side of the moon, is that it is absolutely necessary to integrate my true self into my body and world. i can’t really explain it very well, right now, but it’s one of those “power of the opposite” phenomena. For example to grow muscle you need to tear it apart so it will grow back in a transformed way.
All said and done i feel very comfortable in my awakening process now because i no longer have this “special event” mentality. In its place i feel like a child again, learning something that i can’t comprehend and don’t need to. i feel the instinctive drive that propels me on no matter what happens to my bliss, energy and connection to true self.
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