“Oh there you are”

The warm air kissed my face as i left the coffee shop feeling as if i was light as a feather after my meeting with Brad, my new friend and writing coach. He had just cracked open my brain with the most brilliant ideas, suggestions, and direction for writing my awakening memoir. i felt the hot seat warm my bottom as I started the car – the radio blasting Stevie Nicks into my ears – i was hoping to get home before the traffic kicked in but I didn’t get very far.

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when two or more of you gather in my name…

We sat at a quiet table next to the window there were hardly anyone in the small Japanese restaurant and i was glad because it had been almost a year since i last saw Steve and there was so much to say and convey. As always when we get together the energy starts vibrating but this time something was quite different. Within minutes i felt this wonderful feeling of bliss and being home i was an integral piece of a magnificent presence that was everywhere and everything. It struck me in an unforgettable and unimaginable way as i thought of one of my favorite passages from the bible – when two or more of you gather in my name…

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trust in a divine plan

“What’s wrong?” my wife Rita asks as i realized that i couldn’t quite hide my angst and frustration from her for very long.  i’ve been quiet, all day, moving about the house from my office to the kitchen and back to my desk or meditation chair, as if changing the scenery would answer the critical doubt following me around like a hound dog on the scent.  “How do i handle and work with the spiritual longing that still floats up from the ocean of my heart’s desire to experience that unbounded “no self” 24/7.”  The longing had moved me into sadness and i was besides myself .

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Nights are my new days

Each night while i sleep there seems to be a part of my soul that wakes up, shaves and showers, gets dressed and ready for work; the night shift…a process of remembering and healing.  Last night my first interview was with the fear of not being good enough. There i was facing it’s illusions and my interpretation of them.  my lunar cycle had shifted and now my nights are my new days and my days have become as peaceful as sleep.   Continue Reading →

my divine marching orders

Since the inception of this blog my insistence on being totally transparent has occasionally made me uncomfortable because in all those experiences where i have had great clarity i realized, early on, that i am writing for you, rather than myself; as i have been instructed to share for reasons beyond my knowing.   So this post definitely falls into that category because i am sharing a very personal communication.  What i thought was going to be a “time alone” road trip to Phoenix turned out to be my divine “marching orders” into a totally new teaching ciriculumn that i could never have imagined.   Continue Reading →

let thy will be done the ultimate surrender

The most beautiful words with their magnificent meanings and melodies are yet still words and concepts and thereby fall short of the reality of how we get to know ourselves.  The past descriptions of my many evenings in the tub are standing up to testify tonight as i find myself struggling with the worst of all my hive attacks; stripped of all my bliss and physical comfort.  i still have my inner peace but that doesn’t shield me from the pain (spoiler alert?)  As i write this post somewhere around the corner of 5:30am, still falling into the depths of the unknown, the only words i can find are “let thy will be done the ultimate surrender.”   Continue Reading →

nature surrendering to life

Since my last two posts my body has been trying to get over a cold without much success.  While i realized that asking for help to stop the headache was a desperate act i also knew that there was still much more to let go of.  In the beautiful alpine environment of Vail at about 9000 feet above sea level i witness a demonstration of nature surrendering to life and became one with it; understanding what i needed to move on from this cold. Continue Reading →

unpacking my experiences with the mind

the days that followed my incredible lesson in surrender were filled with a desire to understand what happened.  While i thought it was a simple “desire to know” impulse it was instead more like an unconscious wish to unpack some mental zip file that was downloaded into my mind from the experience.  i had heard that this could happen but i never understood what unpacking my experiences with the mind entailed. Continue Reading →

sense of taste

Most of my close friends already know that i have a weird eclectic personality (spoiler alert?)  i’m hooked on enlightenment as well as being quiet, goofy, spacey, forgetful, pensive, and blissful.  Not to mention how i murder the english language and even go so far as to make up my own words.  A strange combination of “dwarfed” traits that even Walt Disney wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.  So this story of how my bliss has attached itself to my sense of taste has even given me reason to question why Rita hasn’t ran for hills yet!   Continue Reading →

being present in all things

Six months ago when this awakening process began my biggest challenge was accepting the presence of a evolutionary energy that was out of my control.   Quite honestly there were times when i didn’t think i would get through it but i did.  As the dust settles from that lesson there is a presence that i recognize; a sense that i am being present in all things whether it be within my self, the home, relationships, or work. Continue Reading →